Hi you gorgeous freaks!
Normally at this foetal stage of your ‘I’m reading Ben’s new email’ experience, I’d be warming you up with a gushing wellhead of fancy prose, replete with gross, florid adjectives I dug out of Thesaurus.com seconds previously (see: gushing wellhead). An audience member after a gig once told me they read my mailing list emails and that, furthermore, they’d been reading Stephen King’s book on writing (see: On Writing by Stephen King) and that, even furthermore, Stephen hated adjectives and that you should make your writing as simple as possible (see: a book on writing by Stephen King called ‘On Writing by Stephen King’) and that, furthestmore, it was interesting that I didn’t do that. Well, look, the fact of the matter is: I love for you to think I’m smart, and the most efficient way I have of doing that is by pillaging the English language and throwing chunks of it at you bimonthly. I’m sorry. I’m a cheap parlour magician. Throw your insults if you must. I will throw them back at you, with more fun, archaic synonyms.
But this is not the point. The point is: this email is different. I refuse to warm you up. I refuse to write roughly a paragraph and a half smoothing you into my more administrative, promotional news. I refuse to list things in threes. Incoming is information juicy enough to forego all of my usual ramblings. Pay attention and click the following links with gay* abandon…
*or she!
A PROMISE KEPT
I’ve been watching a lot of House of the Dragon recently and as such I’ve been walking round my flat saying things like ‘What would you have me do??’ and ‘Unhand me, sir!’ And so, to those of you eagle-eyed enough to notice that I promised you my YouTube special Holy Cow earlier than it’s official release date Sept 1st, I say: Is this not enough? Are you not entertained?!! Here it is.
Click the image to watch - and if you like it please, well, like it. Comment on it, share it far and wide. I’d love for as many folks to see it as poss…
AND COMING UP…
Please forget every other gig I have ever said it is really important for you to come to. This is really the one. My Dad had Parkinsons’ disease and he passed away this summer, and it’s been really gutting and disorientating. Maybe I’ll write more about it in the future, but for now my pal Alex and I are running this behemoth gig to raise money for a couple of Parkinsons’ charities…
The line-up is, also as promised, cataclysmic. John Kearns off of Taskmaster! Amy Gledhill who just won the main Edinburgh Comedy Award! Jazz Emu who basically runs the internet now! Ania Magliano! Britney! Janine Harouni! Gems cascading from a golden casket! And of course, the rough amongst the diamonds, Alex Mackeith and I!
There’s also going to be a raffle on the night and I’m not joking the prizes are pretty damn fine. I’m going to be unveiling the full list on my Instagram in the coming weeks, but why don’t I spoil one of them now? Joe Lycett has very kindly donated one of his limited edition books of artwork, a book about bins, fashioned out of recycled rubbish - truly a special, lustable-after item…
So grab some tickets now - they’re only £12 and all of the ticket sales go straight to the charity!
If you can’t make it, then don’t worry - you can donate straight to our fundraiser here…
That’s it for now folks! Thanks for reading.
If you have a charity close to your heart, however big or small, and want to include it here {or you wanna get in touch for whatever reason!} - just send us an email benpope86@gmail.com or Tweet at us @LoAnEmail